If you're just catching this for the first time, where have you been? This is the first chain of artists interviewing artists come full circle where our first questioner Malcolm Middleton is now the answerer for his predecessor Slow Club. Does this sound extremely confusing with this many made up words? Why don't we skip this and jump to the bit where Malcolm storms out to Burger King then?

Slow Club: Hello Malcolm Middleton.
Malcolm: Hi. Hello.

Slow Club: Would you rather exist outside the realms of money and possesions or be a billionaire on a tropical island?
Malcolm: Wouldn't they both be the same? Well, I guess I'd love to be filthy stinking rich. Then I'd give it all away and be wise.

Slow Club: What instrument would you want to be a total wizard master at?
Malcolm: The piano. I'm really bad, it's just all black & white stripes and I can never remember what I've just played.

Slow Club: What do you get when you have to stop at M & S services?
Malcolm: I usually spend ages fingering all the sandwiches only to settle for a pasta salad thing. Accompanied by a vanilla & honey smoothie thing. And if there's no Millionaire Shortbread when I get to the counter I'd throw everything at the tillls-person and storm out to Burger King.

Slow Club: When was the last time you stayed up until dawn?
Malcolm: Last year when my girlfriend left me alone for a week. I would party hard all night listening to old Madonna and Frankie Goes To Hollywood records, and then record demos for my album during the day when I was sleepy. This is probably why my album sounds like a slowly deflating angsty folk-pop album.

Slow Club: What is your favourite ever film?
Malcolm: A.I.

Slow Club: Who was your favourite Beatle?
Malcolm: John. Mentalist.

Slow Club: What was the last album you became obsessed with?
Malcolm: Richard Thompson - Rumor and Sigh.

Slow Club: What is your worst fear?
Malcolm: Not being ready to die when the moment comes.

Slow Club: Dogs or Cats?
Malcolm: Dogs. Cats are too needy.

Slow Club: What would little Malcolm Middleton think about his success if he could see big Malcolm Middleton now?
Malcolm: He would be ashamed that I don't play metal riffs in a world-straddling rock troupe. He'd tell me to grow up and stop whinning. He would laugh at me.

Photography: Pavla Kopecna and Burak Cingi

Graphics: Jonny Garrill