‘Sup bitches. Like most people, SUPERSWEET enjoys having a good old swear from time to time, but only when it matters. And only if it’s funny. The English language is littered with unnecessary hard-core cusses, so we’ve decided to tone things down a bit with our guide to good old fashioned expletives. Why say FUCK when you can say BUM? Your friends and family will be strangely impressed and humoured the next time you utter something like, “Gordon Bennett, that git nearly buggered up my car!” We feel a revolution coming on…
BUM – Arse. As in you BUM! Noun. Lazy. As in, “stop lazing around your hackneyed bum.”
FAGGOT – Homosexual. May also use POOF.
POO – To replace SHIT with. “ This gig is really poo.”
PANTS – Use as above. Pants were never anything to rave about.
BERK – Idiot. Next time you want to utter WANKER, try using BERK instead.
BLAST – Good one to replace FUCK with. “Blast! I’ve burnt the pot noodle.”
BLOODY HELL - More an exclamation than an insult. “Bloody hell! His willy is HOW small?”
BUGGER – Homosexual intercourse via the bottom. Good for cursing unwanted news with.
CHRIST – Unless you’re a regular friend of Jesus, this isn’t considered blasphemy anymore. And no, you won’t end up in hell being buggered by Satan for using it.
JESUS – As above.
GORDON BENNETT – Refers to James Gordon Bennett, a 19th century death defying daredevil. Next time your mum exclaims “Gordon Bennett!” it’s because something out of the ordinary’s happened.
MUNTER – Try using instead of FUGLY for a really ugly woman.
MINGER – As above. Now more commonly refers to a lady’s nethers, as in MINGE.
PILLOCK – An idiot. The etymology of Pillock is “pillicock,” used to refer to the male member.
SCRUBBER – A woman considered to be the village bicycle.
TROLLOP – Equivalent of “tart,” and a sixteenth-century slang for a prostitute.
CODGER – Equivalent of a geriatric male member, ie, “You old codger!” Good for insulting your parents with.
GIT – A good insult for someone who’s cocky and unfairly successful.
MUPPET – Gormless idiot. “You forgot to put our names on the guest list, you muppet!”
WILLY – Use instead of DICK or COCK for a male insult. “You’re a complete willy. I hate you”
Now go forth and multiply...
Words: Tiffany Tondut